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The current year signifies a full decade since the term “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {